


Day #12: Shadows

by Accal1a



Series: December Nickels Insanity [12]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux, Sidewinder Series - Abigail Roux
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Nightmares, Post-War, Prisoner of War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-02 17:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16791841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accal1a/pseuds/Accal1a
Summary: Nick wakes from a nightmare and Kelly soothes him back to sleep.





	Day #12: Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> This one _hurt_.

Kelly awoke to the sound of whimpering.

It wasn't the first time and it probably wouldn't be the last. He very slowly turned over in the bed, being careful not to jostle Nick. When Nick was scared he always came up swinging.

"Nick, babe, its okay. I'm here." He whispered in a soothing voice.

"No! Don't!" Nick said, sounding terrified. 

Kelly's heart broke every time Nick had a nightmare, but the times when Nick was dreaming about those hellish three weeks were the times that made him want to alternately sob, and dig up every one of those bastards just so he could kill them again for what they did to his friends.

Kelly knew that under torture Nick would have stuck to the USMC code of conduct, that he would have given the enemy: name; rank; service number; and his date of birth, he would have stayed strong. This made the nightmares somehow worse, that this was hearing what the Nick inside had been thinking, what he had been feeling. This is what he had _wanted_ to say when he was being hurt. 

"Babe, it's okay. You're safe. We're in Colorado. You're here with me. With Kelly."

"Please!" Nick begged in a soft and broken voice.

Kelly blinked back tears but carried on speaking in the same soft tone. "You're not there, Babe. You're here with me, you're okay."

"Doc?" Nick said.

"Yes, yes. Nicko, it's me. You're okay. We're in Colorado. You're having a nightmare."

"No, no you can't be."

"I am babe. I'm here with you. You're safe."

"No, please not you too." Nick said brokenly and a tear did fall down Kelly's cheek then, as he realised what was happening. Nick was still asleep, still caught in an unknowable hell. 

These ones were the worst, when Kelly's words couldn't help. 

Kelly's voice was inextricably linked with Nick's time in service. Sometimes hearing his voice just reminded him of the med bay after he had Ty had come back; and sometimes, like now, it made him worry for Kelly's safety. 

Nick's subconscious mind knew that Kelly would say that everything was fine, had heard him tell dying men that they would be home soon, had soothed battle crazed marines who didn't know which way was up. He knew that if Kelly had been in captivity with him, Kelly would be soft and calming and brave, putting up a smiling front. At times like this there was nothing that he could do but wait, his voice alone was no longer a tool to help, it was a tool that would hinder.  
Kelly had to lie there and hope that Nick's nightmares didn't last too long, that he would be okay when he awoke, that he would recover quickly from their horrors.

That was all he could do…and it was hell.

After a period of time Kelly couldn't begin to fathom, Nick's breathing started to even out, the whimpers subsisted, and after a further minute Nick awoke quickly, sitting bolt upright in bed and almost immediately slumping.

"Nicko?" Kelly said softly, shifting slowly and deliberately to sit up himself, not making any sudden moves that would startle his partner.

"Kels." Nick said in a quiet voice.

Kelly moved quickly then, now that he knew Nick was with him. He clambered around the bed so that he could sit behind Nick, allowing Nick to collapse back towards his chest when he was ready.

"You're okay, you're here, you're safe." Kelly repeated like a mantra, until Nick finally leant backwards into the space he had created and the support he offered.

Sometimes Nick wanted to talk after these nightmares and sometimes he just wanted to be held. If he wanted to talk, he didn't want to look at Kelly. If he didn't want to talk, having this full body contact was what they had realised worked best.

Kelly kept up the steady words until Nick had stopped shaking and had finally wrapped his arms around himself, resting his arms on top of Kelly's.

"I thought you were there." Nick said quietly.

"I know babe, but I wasn't. We're both here, we're both okay." Kelly said, squeezing Nick tighter and rocking them barely imperceptibly.

"I couldn't…I would have cracked if it had been you."

"No, you wouldn't," Kelly said with quiet conviction, "because you're Nick O'Flaherty. You're a badass."

Nick chuckled weakly, but took the lie that was offered.

They were silent again for long moments until Nick shifted again. "I need the light on."

Kelly leant across to the bedside table, squeezing his knees around Nick so that he was still being hugged for those seconds that he was away.

They both blinked in the light.

"Thanks. I just…sometimes the shadows are too much, you know?" Nick said softly, turning his head so that he could rest his cheek over Kelly's heart, hearing the rhythmic beating that proved they were here, they were alive.

Kelly kissed the top of Nick's head, then held his fiancé tighter. He wished he could take all of these memories away from him, wished that it had never happened in the first place; but he was glad he was here to help when he could. He worried about when Nick was on his own in Boston, how he must wake up with the same fear but have no-one there to hold him. The thought made Kelly sick.

Long minutes passed and Kelly thought Nick might have dozed off until he shifted slightly so that he could tilt his head and look up into his eyes.

"Kels?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"Of course," Kelly said, reaching up to stroke some of Nick's sweat-soaked hair out of his eyes, "I'd never leave you alone in the dark."

**Author's Note:**

> Come and visit the [Cut & Run Discord Server](https://discord.gg/vvy6c76) and join us as we discuss/scream about this awesome series.


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